The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
it's like heaven, but drunker
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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