I'm drive I can fine osifer
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
