hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
