I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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