So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
