3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
