she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
