so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize