Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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