my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
