Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
