dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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