dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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