how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He kissed a someone with a penis
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
