Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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