As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
