They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
