these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
