Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
