Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
