You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Never joke about your clitoris.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
