i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
