Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
