just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
