I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
