I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
