girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish you could order shots online.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
