Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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