The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
