Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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