I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
