Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
