What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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