so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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