Already got asked if we're dating
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
