is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize