You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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