It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
