Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
