Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
