I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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