Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
