I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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