that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
