I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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