well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
