I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i will never coherently bang her
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
