yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
