Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
