lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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