oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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