No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
