i'm signing you up for texting rehab
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
