How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
