I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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