How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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