Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
