maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
