She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
