I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize