Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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