ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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