Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think a kid would responsible me up
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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