The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
