you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
