Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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