I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
