tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
