do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
