did you get engaged???
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize