You smell like stripper and shame
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
