Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Do vagina's smell?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
