Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.

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(+61): View more from Australia

i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be

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(716): View more from New York

i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder

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(313): View more from Michigan

I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot

(313): View more from Michigan

He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"

Fav 2 1716 657
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(618): View more from Illinois

Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.

Fav 1 88 17
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(513): View more from Ohio

I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick

Fav 0 94 10
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